10 Possible Reasons Why You’re Always Not Good Enough

Have you ever felt like you’re not good enough? Have you ever questioned yourself why you’re not appreciated and valued for who you are?

Well, let me tell you what I think.

1. You’re constantly comparing and measuring your standards of success against others.

“So what If I’ve graduated with a Bachelors degree, people are graduating with Masters and PhDs, I’m just not smart enough; I’m never gonna get a good job.”

2. When you don’t take care of your health, you feel like crap and you underperform.

Imagine this:

You only slept two hours the night before and you tried to work out the next morning. No matter how hard you try, you couldn’t lift as heavy as your last record. You start to think that you are deteriorating and you’re never going to improve.

See Also: Importance Of Sleep: How It Can Put Your Health In Serious Jeopardy

3. You complain that you’re not good enough but you don’t do anything to change.

You still continue doing the same shit every day that makes you mediocre.

always complaining

“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.”– Jim Rohn

4. You think you should be like Wonder Woman and be good at everything.

Well, you don’t have to, because you never will. This brings me to my next point.

5. You are a self-proclaimed perfectionist and big-time procrastinator.

“If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done.” ― Ecclesiastes 11:4

6. You’re constantly thinking about the ‘What If’s’ but you don’t look at your current assets and how you can work them to your advantage.

7. You try to do everything but give up everything in the process.

You don’t have a goal or a list of things you want to achieve. You’re constantly stuck and feeling lost.

8. You’re not fully present when you’re working on something.

After you’ve completed a task, you don’t even remember what you did.

9. You don’t want to admit that you’re just a lazy prick and you’re not willing to put in the effort to succeed because acknowledging that makes you feel worse about yourself.

being lazy

10. You constantly think that you’re not good enough.

“What you think, you become.” – Buddha

By now, you must be thinking:

“Well, this girl sounds like she’s giving me advice because she’s got everything in one piece and is living out her life purpose which is making a difference in people’s lives by doing what she’s good at…”

Hell, no.

This girl is very aware what it feels like to never be good enough. However, despite that, she’s still trying to get out of her hole.

She scrolls through Instagram looking at her friend’s post about a pretty unicorn smoothie bowl he made and she thinks: “I have a degree in food nutrition and I can’t make stuff like that… I’m not healthy enough.”

She goes to Cross-fit class and she sees others doing pull-ups and handstands and she thinks: “I’ve been working out for donkey years and I still can’t do any of those… I’m not fit enough.”

She and her friend go traveling together and she sees her friend being the one connecting with people along the way and she thinks: “I can’t talk like that…I’m not sociable enough.”

And as she is in the process of writing an article, she thinks: “Why am I even spending my time doing this, I’m not…”

I’m not enough. I can’t.

You get the gist.

Final Words

If you don’t feel the same way, kudos to you. Keep it up!

If you do, then know that you’re not alone in facing this ‘fear’ of imperfection, of never being good enough.

I’m not here to offer pity or start preaching that you should change and start thinking positively.

Don’t get me wrong.

I’m just hoping to be able to offer some comfort and make you feel comforted as well.
There’s no room for judgment here. Only understanding.

Oh, and ice cream.

Join me for ice cream? I’m thinking cookies and cream. What about you?

The post 10 Possible Reasons Why You’re Always Not Good Enough appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

from Dumb Little Man https://www.dumblittleman.com/not-good-enough/

Advertisements

9 Ways To Keep Your Brain Young

If you are getting on in years, you have to start thinking of your brain health. Dementia and Alzheimer’s diseases are becoming so common nowadays that it’s become imperative that you know exactly how to keep your brain young.

Here are 10 simple ways that can keep your brain from aging too fast.

Play fun games

Brain exercise can be fun and easy. Play matching games like Hay Match to stimulate your brain and release more dopamine. Mental stimulation can be a way to stay young longer. Your brain needs to be exercised, just like every muscle of your body, so get into the habit of playing puzzle games regularly.

hay match

Exercise

Moving the body is also good for the brain. The increased blood circulation will lead to a better supply of oxygen to your head. This helps your brain to function as it should.

Exercise at the gym and try to move throughout the day. If you have a job where you sit in front of a screen, take breaks every 20 minutes, and be sure to stand up and move!

Eat better

Try to change your diet to one that includes ingredients that are good for your brain. Foods with high levels of antioxidants are considered good brain food. So are foods that contain omega 3 and 6. You might also want to have a look at your intake of water to avoid dehydration.

Keep your blood sugar levels on an even keel

This point relates to the idea of eating better. If you can keep an even blood sugar level, it will benefit your brain. You will feel more energetic.

With more energy you can think more clearly and it will help you to get the most out of exercising too. This leads to a good cycle of motivation and inspiration.

Don’t smoke!

do not smoke

Did you know that cigarettes damage the brain? They can damage the parts of the brain that are responsible for memory, perception and language. If your brain capacity in these areas becomes weaker, you will inevitably be perceived as older than you really are. So never start smoking and quit now if you are already a smoker.

Laugh a little

When was the last time you laughed? Laughing and smiling are good for you. These are things that will help you stay young. If your friends are not funny, find a comedian that you can listen to every now and then in order to break out into some healthy laughter that will release beneficial hormones in your body.

Sleep enough

We must sleep to restore brain chemicals. During sleep, the brain can deal with all the events of the day. This sorting process is important for the brain to stay healthy and fully functional. You can try to go to bed earlier and also look into the possibility of taking a power nap during the day.

See Also: Five Ways of Overcoming the Problem of Getting Sleep

Have a vacation

Get a change of scenery and do something else. Your brain will benefit from this!

Take a mini vacation and leave all the gadgets behind. You might be surprised to realize that you can find your way without GPS by simply talking to other people.

Get a pet

get a pet

Pets are very good for our emotional health. Your pet will give you a daily dose of joy. Going on long walks, laughing at your pet’s antics and sharing the love will help you stay young and fresh!

See Also: 10 Brain Damaging Activities You Need To Stop Doing Now

 

The post 9 Ways To Keep Your Brain Young appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

from Dumb Little Man https://www.dumblittleman.com/how-to-keep-your-brain-young/

The One Realization That Helped Me Forgive Myself and My Father

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
~Maya Angelou

Sunlight shone through the living room window. A lazy Sunday afternoon. I lounged on the couch reading a book with my dog cuddled at my feet. My love had just set out to purchase a new set of acoustic guitar strings. Soon he would return, and music would fill our home, adding to my sense of blissful peace.

The telephone rang. I could see from the caller ID it was my father. “Good,” I thought. “It’s been a few weeks. I wonder what he’s been up to.”

His voice was filled with rage. “I’m dying!” he screamed. “You are killing me.”

“What’s this about?” I placed my book on the table. I was not alarmed; my father has been talking about his death for decades. I was only curious how his heart condition had suddenly become my doing.

“Did you get a marriage certificate yet?” he asked angrily.

“No,” I said. “We haven’t. That isn’t happening.”

My father erupted again. “I’ll probably have another stroke! My arms are tingling. It could be a heart attack—heart attack number three. This one will be your fault. I can’t sleep. I can’t even take a shit. I ate two bowls of fiber yesterday and nothing came out of me.”

“That’s not my fault.”

“It is your fault! The anxiety is killing me. Get the marriage certificate, please. It’s what normal people do. If you don’t get that thing, it’ll be the official cause of my death.”

“You should talk to someone about this. A therapist maybe.”

“I’m not talking to anybody.”

“Then pray,” I said. “Meditate.”

He was silent for a moment, then he scoffed at me. “I’ll go to Afghanistan. I’ll become a missionary. I’ll kill as many ragheads as I can before they capture me. You know how my dad died?”

I did, but I knew I was going to hear the story again.

“The snow was deep that morning. There’d just been a big Chicago blizzard. He asked me to shovel the driveway, but I went out with my buddies instead. He died that morning of a heart attack while he was shoveling. I’ve lived with that guilt for over 50 years. I’ll never forgive myself. You’re going to live with the guilt of killing me. Never forget that. I’m planting that in your head right now.”

“That’s not a nice thing to do. I’m not the one killing you. Your own mind is doing the killing.”

“It’s you.”

“There’s no reason for you to be so upset.”

“You’re not even really married!”

“That doesn’t matter to us. We’re happy the way things are. If it helps bring you peace, just pretend we never had any kind of ceremony. Pretend we’re still dating.”

“You know what? I’m done with you.” My father hung up the phone.

This was not the first time I’d been disowned by my father. I can count on both hands the times he’d chosen to end his relationship with me—sometimes for months, sometimes for years—always because a lifestyle choice on my end didn’t align with how he thought I should be living (i.e. when I became a vegetarian, or traveled to Morocco, or lived with a gay roommate…)

In truth, I was surprised that earlier that month after I first told my father that my boyfriend and I had flown to Scotland for a hand-fasting ceremony, he had expressed actual happiness and excitement for me. “Congratulations!” he’d beamed. “I’m happy for you guys. Those pictures of the Highlands are beautiful. What a beautiful country.”

I remember thinking, “Well, that went well. That could have gone in so many directions. I’m glad he’s happy for me.”

And I’m sure he was, in that moment, until his chronic anxiety returned—and he didn’t know how to deal with it other than to blame me.

If my father died tomorrow, would I feel guilty? Would I blame myself for his death?

No, I would not.

I would be devastated. He’s my father; I love him dearly, despite our differences. He raised me as best he could, and I am grateful for that.

But I will not accept responsibility for the mental anguish from which he suffers. The choices my father makes that support his unhealthy ways have nothing to do with me.

We—the rest of the family—have tried for years to help him, but he refuses to change his habits: the poor eating (he just developed type 2 diabetes), the rejection of exercise, the harmful outbursts toward others, the fearful world he’s created inside his head.

To be clear: I do not discount the severity of anxiety, depression, or PTSD. I’ve battled with depression myself; I understand it’s not as simple as “thinking positively” or “snapping out of it.” It often requires careful and tender care—whether that care is spiritual, therapeutic, medical, or a combination of the three. However, it is my belief that an illness of the mind is not an acceptable justification for emotionally, psychologically, or physically abusive behaviors.

That’s all I’ll say about mental health because 1) I’m not a doctor and 2) this is not meant to be a story about illness; this is an exploration of forgiveness.

As far as my father’s situation is concerned, I require no self-forgiveness. I will not regret the way I have always loved and accepted him.

I will feel sad that he never forgave himself for his own father’s death. He was just 16 the winter his dad died from that heart attack. My father hadn’t known any better.

And I will feel sad that my father never forgave himself for some of the choices he made as a soldier during the Vietnam War. He would never admit that those actions require any level of self-forgiveness, but I think the remorse is buried somewhere deep inside his heart—perhaps somewhere alongside his acceptance of me.

Forgiveness is a tricky thing.

It wasn’t difficult for me to forgive my father for the emotional violence he discharged upon our family over the years, ultimately causing my mother to leave him, and contributing to the struggles shared by my sister and me as we fumbled through adulthood attempting to construct better paradigms of what healthy relationships with men could be (i.e. we learned we didn’t need to tolerate crazy tantrums, or tiptoe on eggshells to prevent unpredictable sieges on peace.)

But we didn’t blame our dad. We acknowledged his influence, forgave him for being imperfect, and moved on with our lives.

I find this to be true with many human beings: forgiving others isn’t the hardest part. Forgiving ourselves is where we struggle.

Self-forgiveness is directly tied to self-acceptance. The more we learn to forgive ourselves for our imperfections and growing pains, the more love and acceptance we allow our hearts to feel toward ourselves and others. I believe that if my father truly loved and accepted himself, it would be easier for him to peacefully love and accept those around him. Perhaps that serenity begins with self-forgiveness.

Where there is forgiveness, there is acceptance, and where there is acceptance, there is peace.

One of my sweet friends is struggling with the guilt from two abortions she had a decade ago. The trauma surrounding the events re-surfaced in her life last year, and she cried in my arms wondering if she’d ever be able to forgive herself.

I told her it wasn’t helpful to hold ourselves hostage to the past. Guilt is not necessary as a reminder of our less-than-perfect decisions; we can learn from the past and make better choices moving forward, without weighing ourselves down with shame.

I woke up one morning recently and didn’t want to get out of bed. I’d become plagued by all the little lies I’d ever told to those who loved me.

And what of the illusions I’d built in my own head? The ways I lied to me?

Or the decisions I’d made thinking of self-preservation, instead of the greatest good?

I dwelled in remorse until I realized: in each of those situations—I’d done the best I could at the time.

I realized I wasn’t the same person I was five years ago, two years ago, or even yesterday. And the self-punishment I was putting myself through was not going to change anything. The best I could do was forgive the younger, less-wise, less aware version of myself, then move forward as a wiser, more evolved human being.

I climbed out of bed and sat in front of my altar, placing both hands over my heart. I sent a blessing to everyone in my life, then to all sentient beings. Then I did something I rarely ever do and probably should do more often: I closed my eyes, filled with palms with light and warmth, and gave a blessing to myself.

I forgave myself for any strategy, plan, or chess game played during the end of difficult relationships, when I was negotiating the safest and calmest way to exit to my freedom. You did the best you could. Next time, you’ll do better.

I forgave myself for misinterpreting dreams, visions, intuitions, and strong feelings. Sometimes I wanted so badly for something to be true, I pushed it the extra mile in the direction of the Truth-horizon, when all the while it was meant to remain in a field of uncertainty. You did the best you could. Next time, you’ll do better.

I forgave myself for disconnecting from the people, places, and experiences that didn’t nurture my spirit or bring me peace. Those people may have felt abandoned or unsure why I’d suddenly felt the need to change my life in a way that longer involved them—and my explanations hadn’t satisfied their questioning. You did the best you could. Next time, you’ll do better.

I forgave myself for the times I hadn’t revealed the full truth in sticky situations—I’d held details back in fear that their exposure would lead to my own abandonment. You did the best you could. Next time, you’ll do better.

And perhaps the biggest one: I forgave myself for once staying in a relationship my soul knew was not meant to last. I’d gone so far with a man in the ‘wrong’ direction—all the while knowing I was heading in the wrong direction, but still needing to make the journey. And once I’d finally arrived in a life that wasn’t mine—after investing so much time, love, and energy—my soul begged me to leave but I stayed longer, still, because my tender heart wasn’t ready to go.

I forgave myself for that epic journey and released the guilt I felt for leaving the man who’d been by my side all that time. He had felt at home in that direction, and I left him behind, to follow a path that was truly mine. You did the best you could. Next time, you’ll do better.

“You had difficult decisions to make,” I’d told my sweet, crying friend. “You did the best you could. You don’t need to wipe the events from your memory, but give yourself permission to let go of the guilt you feel. Once you forgive yourself, you’ll be lighter and more capable of movement and transformation.”

“Lightness of being,” my sweet friend said. “I’d like to achieve that.”

And she did. And we do. Every time we forgive—each other and ourselves.

About Jaclyn Costello

Jaclyn Costello loves helping people make breakthroughs to understand themselves more deeply. This is the heart of her role as Spiritual Development Coach at GrowWithSoul.com. Jaclyn is also a professor in the Honors College at University of Nevada, Las Vegas, and a writer of poetry, fiction, and non-fiction. She just finished her first novel.

Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

The post The One Realization That Helped Me Forgive Myself and My Father appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

from Tiny Buddha https://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-one-realization-that-helped-me-forgive-myself-and-my-father/

Top 5 Things To Do In Las Vegas

Las Vegas is considered the entertainment capital of the world and it’s easy to see why. The city literally has something for nature enthusiasts to nightlife lovers. This is why there were and over 42 million the year before.

If you are thinking of visiting the place, here are the best things to do in Las Vegas to help you plan your trip.

Concert Residencies

concert residences celine dion

Las Vegas is famous for its concert residencies from the world’s biggest superstars. Elvis Presley, Cher, and Prince have all headlined there in the past.

Nowadays, Sin City revelers have the chance to see stars like Elton John, Jennifer Lopez, and Britney Spears perform sellout shows along the Las Vegas Strip at famous venues, like the Colosseum at Caesars Palace and Planet Hollywood Resort.

Lady Gaga recently sealed a deal that will earn her an impressive $1 million per show. It’s set with 74 dates in MGM’s Park Theater beginning late 2018.

One act that has been going strong for many years now is David Copperfield’s residency at the MGM Grand Casino. There, he captivates his audience with spectacular illusions.

The magician performs 15 incredible shows per week in a residency that has lasted 18 years to date.

Nightclubs

mgm grand hakkasan

The nightlife in Las Vegas is one of the biggest attractions for young and old tourists. It has a wide range of bars and clubs that play host to the world’s most reputable music acts and DJs.

Venues like Hakkasan at the MGM Grand are the epitome of what nightlife is all about there. With a capacity of around 6,000 people, a mindblowing sound system, and the likes of Calvin Harris and Tiesto regularly headlining, it’s no wonder why tons of people gather there.

XS at the Wynn Encore has hosted EDM superstars like Skrillex and Diplo and features an outdoor pool which is perfect for cooling off from the stifling heat.

Fremont Street Experience

fremont street experience

Fremont Street Experience is an outdoor entertainment district that spans five blocks in downtown Las Vegas. It has countless free concerts people can enjoy all year.

It also has the world’s largest screen. It’s made up of 12.5 million energy-efficient LED lamps and accompanied by a 550,000-watt sound system.

You can find a number of bars and restaurants in the area. There are also a lot of games and various visual experiences. You can find a huge zipline, too!

17 million visitors per year see the free Viva Vision Light Show.  This makes the place a must-see for any tourist.

Grand Canyon

grand canyon las vegas

The Grand Canyon is one of the seven natural wonders of the world. A day trip is definitely one of the best things to do in Las Vegas.

More than 5 million people come each year to see the magnificent views filled with different types of terrain and inhabited by diverse wildlife. The Grand Canyon Skywalk is perched up over 4,000 feet above the surface, offering visitors the chance to dine in style with views of the Arizona sunset.

Spanning 446 kilometers in length and stretching 29 kilometers at its widest point, the Grand Canyon isn’t the deepest canyon in the world. It’s a title that goes to Peru’s Cotahuasi Canyon or Kali Gendaki Gorge in Nepal, depending on who you ask.

However, because of the spectacular view it offers, the place is definitely one of the most popular attractions in the United States. The Grand Canyon is located 200 km from the Strip, with multiple coaches and helicopter tours available daily.

Hoover Dam

hoover dam las vegas

Built in 1935, the Hoover Dam is a National Historic Landmark. It has enough water to irrigate up to 2 million acres of land. It’s a hugely popular tourist destination which you can find just over 30 miles away from Las Vegas.

There is a selection of tours that allow you to explore deep into the depths of the dam where you can marvel at the incredible engineering work. While you’re in the area, you can also take a relaxing boat tour to Lake Mead or the Colorado River.

The post Top 5 Things To Do In Las Vegas appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

from Dumb Little Man https://www.dumblittleman.com/things-to-do-in-las-vegas/

4 Compelling Reasons Why You Should Stop Avoiding Conflict

Every day, we are bound to face conflicts and many people shut down completely because of that. Although that sounds like the easy way out, it won’t help you in the long run. In fact, it’s the other way around. Facing conflicts offers a lot of benefits.

It Helps You Move Forward

The main problem with always veering away from any type of confrontation is that it denies you of opportunities for growth and improvement. Avoiding animosity stops you from moving forward in life and this is a huge problem. You won’t be able to fulfill your potential personally and professionally.

On top of that, holding grudges against people can put you at risk of mental disorders, such as anxiety, depression, and schizophrenia.

The simplest way to avoid all of those things is to face the issue. It will seem scary at first but its benefits far outweigh the initial difficulty.

It will pave your path towards self-improvement and also quiet down any negative and consuming thoughts you might have running around in your head.

Thus, if you feel things get too loud, you should try dealing with them directly every now and then. You’ll see that it can really work wonders.

It Relieves the Stress of Daily Life

relieve stress of daily life

If you’re the type of person who keeps his emotions inside all the time, then you already know how hard it gets after a while. Every day, life becomes a lot more stressful because of that. You might even start feeling anxious all the time.

Now, if you stop keeping your emotions bottled up, you’ll soon realize that your fear is getting you nowhere and that it’s actually making your life harder.

See Also: 12 Stressful Things To Let Go Of If You Want To Live A Calm Life

It Mends Your Relationships

The Balance author Rhonda Scharf exemplified this situation best by illustrating it with the story of one of her former co-workers. According to Scharf, this one colleague of hers had a particularly unhealthy mechanism for coping with conflict. He would carry out an entire conversation with the people who made him angry but just inside his head.

He started doing the same thing whenever he and his wife encountered marital problems. Instead of talking to his spouse, he chose to keep it all in. The situation escalated to such a point that it almost tore apart their marriage. That is when he finally expressed his emotions directly.

There is one important lesson that we all can learn from this: confrontation leads to communication and proper communication can mend any relationship, including romantic partnerships.

It Boosts Your Self-Confidence

self confidence

One of the main reasons why people choose to bottle up their problems and avoid any form of confrontation is their lack of self-confidence. When faced with such situations, most of us think that there’s nothing we can really do about it.

Nevertheless, you can’t know for sure until you try it. And when you finally do, you will realize that it’s not really that hard after all.

See Also: 7 Powerful Habits To Skyrocket Your Self-Confidence

Final Thoughts

While conflict seems like a negative thing, it’s actually highly beneficial when approached right. Therefore, if you stop running away from it, you’ll be able to give yourself enough chance to grow both personally and professionally.

The post 4 Compelling Reasons Why You Should Stop Avoiding Conflict appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

from Dumb Little Man https://www.dumblittleman.com/why-is-conflict-good/

Be Good to Yourself: 10 Powerful Ways to Practice Self-Love

Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” ~Unknown

It was one of those nights.

I was in a busy New York bar, having fun and enjoying myself. That was, until someone asked me: “So, what do you do?

Within a few seconds my fun, happy, playful side vanished and in entered a girl full of doubts and insecurity.

The truth was… I had no freaking idea about what I was doing! I had just left my corporate job and now I was on a journey to discover what I truly wanted to do in life.

That question stripped me down to feeling naked and exposed. Because I didn’t have a job title.  (Unless “I-don’t-know-what-I’m-doing-with-my-life” works?) I had nothing externally to “prove” my worthiness with.

I’ve always been pretty confident. My dad used to give me incentives for challenging myself. “Climb up that wall and I’ll buy you an ice cream.” “Be Santa Claus for your siblings and you’ll get that nail polish you really want.”

So, I never had a problem saying yes to things, such as taking job offers abroad and accepting challenging positions and demanding projects. Of course I had moments of doubt, but even when I doubted myself, I always said yes and found a solution one way or another.

Until that moment in the bar, I had (unconsciously, of course) proved my worth through my achievements. I had thought of myself as someone who valued herself no matter the job title, relationship status, or bank account condition.

But, when I left my job and other external things fell apart, so did my value. Or at least, that’s what it felt like.

In short, I had confused self-confidence with self-esteem. Oops!

Here’s what I mean by this:

Self-confidence is about trusting yourself and your abilities. For example, you can be confident in one area, such as cooking, dancing, or communicating, but then insecure in another, such as dancing or public speaking.

Self-esteem, on the other hand, is about how you see yourself. It’s about your perception of your worth. No matter what happens on the outside, do you treat yourself with love, care, and respect or not?

As a high-achiever, it’s easy to trick yourself and think you have self-esteem. I mean, as long as you perform and do well, it’s all good, right?

Yeah, until you don’t. That’s when the sh*t hits the fan…

When I realized that I saw myself as less worthy, cool, and interesting because of my external circumstances, I decided this wasn’t good enough for me. And it shouldn’t be good enough for you either, if this resonates. As they say, your biggest breakdowns often become your greatest breakthroughs.

So, I got to work. This time, not by proving my value, but by practicing self-love. Below are some of the most powerful ways I’ve discovered to do just that:

1. Focus on being someone who loves.

If you’re in a place today where you don’t love yourself, it’s hard to take a quantum leap and become someone who does. Just like when you’re building muscles, self-love takes consistent practice.

Instead of loving yourself, focus on being someone who loves. That is, allow love to flow through you as often as possible. Focus on what you love about the people you meet. Focus on what you appreciate while going to the store, sitting in a meeting, or while speaking to someone. Simply, adjust your body to positive emotions by finding as many things to love and appreciate as possible.

2. Tap into what it looks and feels like to be loved.

It’s easy to be loving toward ourselves when things go as planned, when we succeed and people like us. Not so much when stuff falls apart, we screw up or get rejected. When we struggle the most, that’s also when we tend to be hardest on ourselves.

In those moments, ask yourself what someone who loves you deeply you would act. What would they say? What would they do? How would they behave? Odds are, they wouldn’t criticize, judge, and berate you. They’d offer you kindness, compassion, and acceptance. If you can’t think about a specific person or memory, imagine how the most loving human on this planet would be toward you. Then practice being that toward yourself.

3. Stop comparing yourself.

Comparison is a killer to self-love. And we aren’t usually very nice when it comes to comparisons, right? Instead, we take our greatest flaws and compare them to someone else’s greatest success. In short, you’re doomed to fail.

Instead, realize that you write your story. Realize that you can’t compare your life to someone else’s because no matter how well you know them, you never know how they feel or how they perceive their life. Instead, spend your time and energy to nourish and build your path.

4. Take baby steps to create the life you long for.

Desires are powerful. And so, to take action turn those dreams into reality is to honor and care for yourself. By taking daily actions, you signal that you’re worthy of living the life you desire.

It doesn’t have to be big action—just small and consistent steps in the direction that stirs joy, care, and excitement. This demonstrates that you care and respect your dreams and thus yourself. Has there ever been a better time to do that than now?

5. Ask your guidance system for help.

Imagine that your emotions are guiding you. When you feel good about yourself, it means that what you’re thinking is aligned with how your soul/higher self sees you. When you feel bad about yourself, it’s a red flag telling you that a change of perspective is needed

If you think a thought such as “I am [something you don’t like about yourself],” how does that feel? Probably not so good, right? Then it’s a sign to think a different thought. Try to replace that with something kinder. For example, “I’m just so lost and confused” can be replaced with “I’m doing the best I can to move forward.”

6. Surround yourself with people you feel good with.

Oh, this is an important one! You may have heard Jim Rohn’s famous quote before: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Think about who those people currently are. Do they inspire, fill you up, and want what’s best for you?

Just because you’ve been friends doesn’t mean you need to keep spending time together. Just because you’re taking a break from someone, doesn’t mean you won’t be close again. Be picky about who you spend your time with—don’t give it away in the spirit of mercy. (That’s not nice, neither to you or the other person). Be there because you want to; otherwise, don’t.

7. Be compassionate when sh*t hits the fan.

So many of us (myself included) tend to beat ourselves down when we need our love the most. When we fail or screw up or someone rejects us, that’s the time we often get even more down on ourselves. Beating someone who’s lying down, sounds fair? Um, nope.

So instead, choose to be most loving and forgiving with yourself when things don’t go as planned. When you stumble and fall. When you say the wrong things. When someone rejects you or a project fails. Ask yourself what you need and then spray that all over yourself.

8. Make room for healthy habits.

Yep yep! Start truly caring for yourself by mirroring that in what you eat, how you exercise, and what you spend time doing. Do stuff, not to “get it done” or because you “have to,” but because you care about you.

Don’t feel like going to the gym? Then maybe put on a soul-soothing podcast and go for a walk. Create habits that are healthy, not just mentally but also emotionally.

9. Postpone your worry and negative thoughts.

Are you ready for a really great tip? If so, then get excited. A very powerful technique I recently discovered is called a “worry-free month” (named it myself). Think about how much of your worry that actually serves you. Sure, some of the worry has a purpose, as it tends to give us a little kick when we need to get our sh*t together and start acting.

But, my guess is that 97 percent of it is useless. Whenever those thoughts enter your mind, tell them, “Thanks, but I’ll deal with this next month.” By telling your mind that you’ll deal with it later (plus saying when), you stop feeding negative thoughts and thus decrease its momentum. Then, you simply do this month after month.

10. Accept what you cannot love.

This might have been the greatest game-changer for me. Because let’s face it: It’s easy to love what you love about yourself and not so easy with the things you don’t. So, instead of even aiming to love those parts, which will probably just make your mind go “Are you kidding me?”, focus on accepting them.

One thing I’ve had a hard time accepting about myself is that at times, and for no real reason, I can get very nervous. Simple things, such as going to the supermarket can feel very difficult. Instead of rejecting or trying to love this nervous side of myself, I’m reminding myself to accept it. When it happens, I’ll tell myself something along the lines of “It’s okay, I can be nervous going to the supermarket today. It’s not the end of the world.”

You don’t need to love everything about yourself to develop self-love; all you need is acceptance. Next time something happens that makes you want to get down on yourself, see this as your practice to accept what is.

Care for the World by Caring for Yourself’

Life is full of ups and down. Health can transfer into disease. Successes can be turned into collapses. Romantic love can be transformed into coldness. But, no matter what happens on the outside, we can still have a solid foundation built on self-love.

Self-love isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity in today’s society. So, start implementing some of the practices above and most of all, have compassion with yourself when you fall short. Then simply brush yourself off and get back into it again. As they say, practice makes perfect.

Finally, realize that by caring for yourself, you care for this world. Your actions have a ripple effect on others.

About Maria Stenvinkel

Maria Stenvinkel is on a mission to help people get a career they truly love. Download her free worksheet Get a Clue to Your Calling With These 10 Powerful Questions.

Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

The post Be Good to Yourself: 10 Powerful Ways to Practice Self-Love appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

from Tiny Buddha https://tinybuddha.com/blog/be-good-to-yourself-10-powerful-ways-to-practice-self-love/

5 Top Technology Trends That Will Shape 2018

Groundbreaking steps are happening in the technology industry all the time. In the past couple of years alone, leaps and bounds have resulted in better augmented reality, virtual reality, artificial intelligence, speech recognition, and more. This year, you can expect more tech innovations to enhance our lives.

Here are the top technology trends you need to watch out for this year.

Augmented Reality

augmented reality vs virtual reality

We’ve already seen what today’s AR mobile apps can do and games like Pokémon Go are a far cry from it, to say the least.

The AR technology from companies like the startup DAQRI, however, extends well beyond a mobile game experience. Its technology is found in other products, like its $15,000 AR helmets.

You can wear those helmets entirely hands-free and it can work for hours. A requirement for its primary users: industrial workers, sailors, and soldiers.

Take note that these headsets aren’t quite full-scale AR because they suffer from the common problem of most AR headsets. It’s the narrow rectangular view that cuts off images when the user moves.

Now, as the company has partnered with Two Trees, a holography specialist, and is working on developing new dynamic holography technology, it could possibly revolutionize AR.

See Also: How Augmented Reality Is Changing The Game

Google RankBrain

One of the biggest contributors to the advancement of search algorithms in recent years has been Google’s machine learning Artificial Intelligence (AI) system, RankBrain.

Since its inception over two years ago, Google continues to embrace RankBrain, using it to return the best results that match a Google user’s query. It has gone from being used in 15% of Google search queries to now being used in all of them.

Google has also been dabbling in other AI interests. This includes the development of a Cloud Vision API, which has the capability to recognize a huge number of objects. Plus, its Google Brain division has reportedly been developing an AI that can build AI better than humans can.

Artificial Intelligence

Google RankBrain aside, artificial intelligence isn’t only found in data. It’s in just about every industry. Journalism, financial services, video gaming, gambling, automotive, the military, and even healthcare are just some examples.

Currently, the vast majority of AI systems function as a supportive tool that can make certain processes more simplified, effective, and faster.

That said, as AI enters more and more fields, people like Jack Ma question what impact the future of AI will have on society as a whole. The concerns of Alibaba’s founder and Executive Chairman were made known earlier this year during the World Economic Forum (WEF) at Davos.

“The AI, Big Data is a threat to human beings. The AI and robots are going to kill a lot of jobs because, in the future, these will be done by machines,” Ma stated during a discussion panel.

He believes that AI should be used to support people and added that tech giants, like Alibaba, Amazon, and Facebook, need to be responsible and “should spend money on technology that enables people, empowers people, and makes life better”.

See Also: 5 Reasons Why You Should Consider AI Automation for Small Business

Smart speakers

Forget about talking to your smartphone. The future is all about voice-controlled smart speakers now.

This technology perfectly fits into the ecosystem of a smart home as smart speakers can function as the main control hub. They can answer questions, set timers, play music, and control other devices at home.

As you might imagine, there is a fierce competition between market leaders. Amazon, Google, Apple, and Microsoft aim to develop and sell the most sought-after smart speakers.

Today, the competition is tight between Amazon and Google. These companies are leading the market with smart speakers that are affordable, accessible, and superior to Apple’s Siri.

And once Apple’s smart speaker (HomePod) is out later this year, fans will still flock to buy it despite the high price tag. That only reflects people’s desire to always get their hands on the latest technology.

apple homepad
Via Dezeen

Speech recognition

Speech recognition is another tech that has recently advanced both in its capabilities and its use. Whether you’re asking your smartphone a question or your smart speaker, speech recognition is at play.

While there has always been a lot of kinks to work out when it comes to this technology, last August, Microsoft claimed a new speech recognition record. It was able to reduce its error rate to an amazing 5.1%.

This percentage matched the error rate of multiple human transcribers in a well-known accuracy test.

Microsoft’s continued improvements in speech recognition technology are a part of its wider effort to advance state of the art AI and bring these new innovations to the market.

Conclusion

Of course, no one really knows what the future holds for these top technology trends. Maybe full-scale AR will eliminate the need for mobile phones. Perhaps, speech recognition may prove to be superior to human transcribers- or maybe not. Only time will tell where these innovations might take us next

The post 5 Top Technology Trends That Will Shape 2018 appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

from Dumb Little Man https://www.dumblittleman.com/top-technology-trends/

Tips for New Entrepreneurs: What You Need to Know Before Starting A Business

Walking on the path of entrepreneurship can be a difficult task as there will always be obstacles and challenges. As someone who’s new to entrepreneurship, you should be prepared to face them.

As you embark on your journey, you will encounter issues about legal matters, finances, product development, intellectual property, and much more. The list can easily overwhelm new players.

This makes it important that you fully commit yourself to your business. If you feel that you cannot handle things on your own, there are teams of entrepreneurial finance assignment help that can assist you in getting organized.

And to make sure that you are completely prepared, here are some of the best tips for new entrepreneurs.

Always Keep Cash Handy

As an entrepreneur, you must remember that the money you prepared as capital may not be enough. For your business to function smoothly, there needs to be a consistent flow of cash.

Find investors and venture capitalists who can help fund your ideas and business. Convince them and make them believe in your vision.

Take note that they will likely ask about the expected returns on their investments.

Focus on people and their needs

Stay focused on what your employees need. Make sure to invest in their training.

The skills and knowledge that they’ll learn will be really valuable to the success of your business.

Ask yourself on what business model fits you

If you have started a business just for the sake of earning money and you don’t have any interest in it, don’t expect that business to last long.

Before you start a business, make sure that it’s something that goes in line with your passion and interest. When you are passionate about something, you’ll work really hard to make it successful.

Now, this doesn’t mean that passion is everything. There are factors and situations that can also influence the result you’ll get.

Keep your personal life away from your professional life

work-life-balance

As an entrepreneur, you will spend at least 12 to 13 hours a day working on your business.  As a result, you may not have time to socialize anymore.

As an entrepreneur, you need to know how to balance your work and personal life. Spending too much time on work can result in burnout and that can make you less productive and focused.

Take a break when you need to. It will not only refresh your mind but it can also give you better ideas that can improve your business.

See Also: 5 Ways to Balance Work and Family Time Even if You’re a Workaholic

Don’t let your debt pull you down

When you are starting a business for the very first time, remember not to lose yourself in debt. You have just started your business and you need money for many things.

Credit should not be one of your worries. Moreover, it is incredibly risky to take debts in the initial phase.

If you are in debt and your business skyrockets to success, it’s all well and good. However, if your business fails, you would still have to pay your debt off since you’re the designated personal guarantor of the loan.

If you really need to borrow money, make sure that it’s within manageable limits.

Jot down your ideas and what you learn

journaling

As an entrepreneur, you will have a million things running inside your mind. With so many ideas, there’s a good chance that you’ll forget them in a snap.

The best way to avoid that from happening is to write down your thoughts and lessons in a notebook. You can look back at your notes whenever you need to recall your ideas.

See Also: 5 Benefits of Journaling To Inspire and Motivate You

Take some, leave some

Wise words from someone experienced can be an asset to your business. However, to ensure the success of your business, learn to sieve good advice from the bad ones.

Once you’re able to do that, you’ll be off to a good start. If you are unsure about what to do, just trust your instinct.

Conclusion

The 7 tips for new entrepreneurs can make you a smarter player in the business arena. If there is one thing on that list you haven’t implemented yet, then it’s time that you do.

Small changes can make a big difference. So, keep your mind fueled with positivity and stay healthy and happy. Success will follow shortly.

The post Tips for New Entrepreneurs: What You Need to Know Before Starting A Business appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

from Dumb Little Man https://www.dumblittleman.com/tips-for-new-entrepreneurs/

How I Got My Spark for Life Back: 5 Practices for Healing and Happiness

“Sometimes what you’re most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.” ~Robert Tew

In 2014, I was drowning in unhappiness. I had moved to Palestine five years earlier, later met my husband, and decided to remain in one of the most conflicted countries in the world.

There I was, living in a different country far from the comforts of home that I had always known. My marriage was rife with conflict and pain, and I had nobody to turn to.

I had no family nearby, and with the high turnover of internationals in the country, many of the friends I’d made had left to go back to their home countries, leaving me behind.

My fear and shame around the difficulties in my marriage kept me from sharing my struggles with the few friends that remained. My friendships felt shallow, and I felt more and more isolated and alone.

In that time, I looked back at myself in college and wondered where that carefree girl who was so sure of herself had gone. Not only did I feel like I had lost everything I held dear, but somewhere along the way, I’d lost myself.

I pretended everything was okay, not only to others, but also to myself.

I distinctly remember the day I woke up to my own reality. I was attending a four-day yoga workshop with my teacher, David Sye. As I moved my body to the music, I felt alive!

It was the best I had felt in years. Maybe even the best I had felt my entire life.

I realized then and there that I was unhappy. Something was keeping me from feeling that energy in the rest of my life.

At first, I was terrified that if I admitted I was unhappy my life would fall apart. Instead, I embarked on a journey into the body-mind-emotional connection that led to true and lasting healing.

This journey led me to discover the root pain that was really behind my unhappiness at this time: I had an addiction to perfectionism and a fear of failure that stemmed from a deep feeling of not being good enough.

As I delved deeper, I found out that this fear stemmed from my early childhood relationship with my parents and the midwest Christian community in which I grew up.

Although there were many wonderful things about this community, there was also a lot of pressure to do what you “should”; to not make mistakes and lead the perfect life.

This attitude found its way into my family. We rarely talked about negative things in our own lives or between us. Instead, we addressed difficult emotions through sarcasm rather than an honest acknowledgement of the needs behind those emotions.

Since certain emotions were labeled as negative and not addressed, I grew up feeling that I was only good enough if I didn’t feel negative emotions such as anger, guilt, and shame. Therefore, I developed a need to be perfect and a constant fear of failure.

I was able to cover this up most of my life. Whatever I was good at, I focused on and excelled. My success gave me confidence. My confidence, however, did not come from being true to myself, but came from doing what I thought would look good to others and make me feel special.

My shaky confidence all fell apart when I was out of my comfort zone in a new country and didn’t have access to all the things I had attached to my identity. To make matters worse, these childhood issues came up in my relationship with my husband and resulted in poor communication and anger. Moreover, I felt great guilt and shame for not having the perfect marriage.

When I finally admitted to being unhappy, this facade of perfectionism lifted and I could open up to seeing these wounds and discover the five practices that would heal them.

I was able to forgive my parents, knowing that they did the best they could and could only teach me what they knew themselves when it came to dealing with emotions—those labeled both negative and positive.

I was finally able to be vulnerable with others and try new things because I was free of the fear of failing.

Two years later, my life had turned around. I had healed many of these wounds and felt freer than I ever felt before.

I thought I had lost myself and who I used to be. I thought I was trying to find the person I was before. I didn’t know that in the end, I wouldn’t find myself. Instead, I would free myself from all that was holding me back.

The five key practices that helped me do this and get my spark for life back were:

1. Yoga

Although I had practiced hatha and vinyasa yoga for several years, I mostly focused on the physical practice of asana. At this point, I added kundalini yoga into my practice a couple of times a week, and this helped me learn the connection between the body and emotions.

I discovered that our emotions are simply physical reactions in the body. Without movement, these emotions can get stuck in the body and actually block our innate energy. In fact, emotions from our whole life can get stored in our body’s memory, meaning experiences we had as children can affect our daily lives now.

Eventually, I learned how different poses can not only help me release emotions I am feeling now, but how they can be a map to healing any of my struggles in life and freeing up my energy to live my fullest life.

2. Guided meditation

When I first started meditating, it was difficult to get myself to sit down even for five minutes. I was always afraid of how I would deal with nothingness.

I found that having a guided meditation recording made me feel safe in knowing that someone would be there to help me through. I practiced mindfulness meditation, chakra meditations, and yoga nidra.

Mindfulness meditation was the door into meditation for me. It helped me finally be able to sit and become more aware of what was going on in the present moment.

Chakra meditations and yoga nidra allowed me to connect deep inside myself. They took me on a journey through the past experiences that were blocking my happiness and connected me to my true inner joy that was there no matter what was going on in life.

3. Journaling

Years before, I read The Artist’s Way and discovered the practice of morning pages. In the book, Julia Cameron recommends writing three pages of stream of consciousness writing every morning, in order to release thoughts from the mind that are blocking creativity.

I picked up this practice again and wrote three pages each day in my journal. Only this time, I wrote about my experiences in yoga and meditation. I wrote about the emotions that came out after I did certain yoga practices. I wrote about when I had experienced these emotions before. I wrote about the insights I had during my meditations.

Journaling about my discoveries helped me to really process my thoughts and emotions and finally let go of past experiences and heal.

4. Connecting with others

A big part of the reason that I was unhappy was that I wasn’t open to sharing my struggles. I was afraid to show my vulnerabilities and, therefore, I felt like nobody knew the real me. I felt alone and isolated.

I took a baby step when I shared with my friend that something was wrong in life and I needed to turn it around. Then, I finally overcame my fear and shame and opened up to a couple other friends about the problems in my marriage.

These two steps opened up a floodgates of people coming into my life that I could share with openly and honestly. Fortunately, these people were all proponents of taking care of your mental health, and I finally got counseling, both personally and as a couple.

Having the support of others gave me strength to make big changes in my life. It also meant that I stopped pretending everything was okay and finally let people see the real me. They saw all my struggles, but also all my beauty.

5. Bringing creativity and pleasure back into my life

I was always a musical person. During my childhood I’d played piano and sang in the school choir. Finding myself in a new country, suddenly I no longer had easy access to my usual outlets for creativity.

When I realized how unhappy I was, I decided I needed to prioritize creativity and pleasure in order to feel that spark for life I once had felt. So I reached out once again to those friends I had newly opened up to and told them I had always wanted to learn to paint, but was afraid that I wasn’t good enough.

We then came up with the idea to have art nights together. There was only one rule: it didn’t matter how good we were, we would embrace our inner child and just play with colors and materials.

These art nights reconnected me with the joy I had been missing and opened the doors for me to allow pleasure back into all areas of my life.

Through my daily yoga and meditation practice, I discovered more about who I truly was and what was essential for my happiness. I found myself surrounded with deep friendships, people with whom I could explore creativity and share all of my struggles and triumphs. I fulfilled one of my deepest dreams of becoming a yoga teacher.

Most importantly, I learned that a true spark for life comes from a place of deep acceptance of oneself and the ability to find contentment and joy with life as it is now.

These five practices became essential for me to continue to come back to my true self and deepen my self-acceptance. They are practices I come back to each day. Especially when stress and difficulties start to build, I know these practices will help me regain my spark for life—that feeling of deep joy and gratitude for all that life has to offer.

About Bethany Fullerton

Bethany Fullerton helps busy women overcome stress, overwhelm, and lack of energy through yoga, meditation, and emotional awareness techniques so they can feel calm, confident, and just plain good every day. She is giving away a free gift for Tiny Buddha readers to jump start your journey to feel better and regain your spark for life.

Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

The post How I Got My Spark for Life Back: 5 Practices for Healing and Happiness appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

from Tiny Buddha https://tinybuddha.com/blog/reclaimed-happiness-got-spark-life-back/

Protecting Yourself From Fake Social Media Accounts

Fake news.

You’ve probably been hearing a lot about it lately.

What is fake news and why is it so important that you know how to spot it?

Fake news is not someone saying something you don’t agree with. It’s not one political party pointing out facts that happen to be inconvenient to the opposition.

It’s made-up stories disseminated with the sole purpose of creating divisiveness and spreading misinformation.

The widespread availability of the Internet has led to an openness in the exchange of information that humanity has never before experienced. Unfortunately, this has also led to folks taking advantage of this openness to spread divisiveness. The greatest tool in their shed? Social media.

Fake Social Media Accounts Spread Fake News

During the election cycle in 2016, Stanford University conducted a study of fake news circulating on Facebook and the results were shocking.

Researchers found 115 fake pro-Trump stories circulating on Facebook that had been shared 30 million times at that time. They also found 41 fake pro-Clinton stories that had been shared 7.6 million times.

We’ve all seen them- implausible headlines, questionable websites, and recycled photos.

The problem is that people do believe them and fake social media accounts use this fact to spread such stories like wildfire.

How Big Is The Problem Of Fake Social Media Accounts?

Between 2014 and 2016, the number of fake social media accounts grew 11 times, a shockingly sharp uptick. While as a percentage, fake social media profiles don’t seem especially prevalent.

However, by volume, there are way more fake profiles than you may think. Check out these numbers:

  • 2-3% or 60 million fake Facebook accounts
  • 9-15% or 48 million fake Twitter accounts
  • 8% or 24 million fake Instagram accounts

How Can You Spot Fake Social Media Accounts?

fake social media account
Via skstechnologies

Have you ever received a friend request from someone you are already friends with that has the same profile picture and everything? That was probably a hacker trying to gain access to your or your friend’s personal information.

In addition to looking for duplicate accounts of people you know, there are a few other ways to spot fake social media accounts.

Here are some great examples:

  • Profile pictures that are of celebrities or objects
  • Accounts with almost no followers or have thousands of followers
  • Public figures who aren’t verified
  • Accounts with little user engagement

What Should You Do If You Are Being Impersonated?

Impersonators wield a lot of power in today’s open social media society.

Just setting up a social media account and pretending to be a real person can gain you a lot of trust right off the bat. So, what do you do when someone is impersonating you?

Start by reporting the impersonator. Know that reporting the impersonator may or may not work and even if you get one account shut down, there’s always the possibility that another one will be created.

Impersonator accounts can be used to gain access to personal information or to publicly shame, embarrass, or humiliate the person they are impersonating. If you are a target of either, make sure to monitor all social channels regularly to find and report them immediately.

Why Does Any Of This Matter?

Social media is the new telephone.

Instead of calling our friends and catching up one by one, social media has allowed us to catch up with all of our friends at once, multiple times a day.

Logging off is one way to avoid fake news but is that really a reasonable solution?

We didn’t get rid of telephones when telemarketers became a problem.

Plus, most people aren’t going to log off anyway.

Fake news and fake social media profiles are a real problem and you can only solve them with education and awareness. Learn more about where fake social media accounts come from by checking out this infographic.

Where do fake social media accounts come from?
Source: SocialCatfish.com

The post Protecting Yourself From Fake Social Media Accounts appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

from Dumb Little Man https://www.dumblittleman.com/fake-social-media-accounts/